A Little Jazz In The Evening

NERVOUS?

2009-03-11T00:15:00.000Z

What To Say... (Part One)

2008-11-25T01:26:00.001Z

* Do you want to be my girlfriend?
* Can I be your boyfriend?
* Do you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend?
* Can I be your man?
* Can you be my man?
* Could we be more?
* Do you feel the same? (hand on her upper thigh)
* J'atme (repeat)
* I really like you...(wait till she responds)
* I have never done this before... (wait to see how she responds)
* I fucking love you
* Get on the fucking block and fuck
* This may sound crass... (insert in fount of any of the above)
* I really need this... (insert in fount of any of the above)
* I really want you
* Can I have the pleasure of your hand
* Do you? (ask this while looking into there eyes, if they do not respond then nothing is lost as you can pass it off as another question, if they respond positively then great)
* How do you like your coffee
* I wish I could be with you all the time
* Do you know how to fix me?
* You don’t like me (low self-esteem can sometimes attract the other)
* (just kiss them (only use this when language escapes you))
* What do you think of me? (credited to Jamie)
* Lets do this together (units always seem stronger)

I wanted you to feel the same

2008-10-22T12:13:00.001+01:00

GIVE ME WHAT I WANT

2008-09-22T15:50:00.000+01:00

(see above)

The/A Strange Anatomy or Angelic boy/girl

2008-08-03T11:02:00.005+01:00

Parenthetical Girls

Zac Pennington

Joel vs Mike

2008-07-31T12:01:00.003+01:00

I have such a hard time deciding which host of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the hottest. Many have noticed that Mike Nelson is a big malleable slab of midwestern beef, but the Jimmy Dean forehead creases and skinny vacancy of Joel Robinson have been less appreciated.

Joel has a tiny little mouth which is a plus, but Mike has strawberry blond hair. The battle rages on.

I want tanga

2008-07-21T15:31:00.002+01:00

Unknown

2008-07-14T12:21:00.002+01:00

Visit a boy. You might even get some inspiration for your own love.

2008-07-06T09:15:00.002+01:00

High interest

If you're single, or have made a unconscious decision to be celibate, you may be quite frustrated without having sex for a while. But if you're in a relationship and you've just get off, not only are you missing out on the fun and intimacy sex others can provide, but so is your partner.

This can lead to powerful feelings of euphoria and pleasure that can soon turn to overwhelming sense of well being. Both partners can begin to doubt their sexuality and attractiveness. At this point and continually the other should be considered.

Not enough sex can be particularly disturbing for others. It's a common myth that boys are always dying for it, this is true. Both you and your partner maybe feeling left confused. This is the time to leave your relationship and start a fresh.

Common causes

High sexual desire is rapidly becoming the most common issue treated in psychosexual therapy. There are a number of reasons why someone may get off on sex, but often what happens is that even when the original cause has long gone, couples may find it very difficult to restart their sexual relationship. If so get out sleep with others.

In some cases, too much sex may start as a symptom of another over sexed problem. For example: reaching orgasm, intense or overwhelming intercourse. If this may be the cause, read the information on those conditions too.

For a few, the problem may be physical. But in the majority of cases it's the result of positive thoughts or feelings. The most common ones are:

* Self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself you'll see yourself as a sexual person. Your partner will be seeing a very private side of you and that takes confidence.

* Relationship issues. If you're feeling angry, upset or in any way insecure about your relationship, you need to address these issues before you can expect to feel sexual towards your partner. Try talking things through with others or breaking up. Some couples struggle to feel desire for their partner directing it towards others, outside of the relationship. Because they say they feel too close. The relationship feels too much like brother and sister and sex may feel inappropriate. Sex with other people can help these couples see the other in a new light.

* Partner problems. It's a sensitive subject, but a common cause of going off sex is a partner who turns you off. It might be a physical or hygiene issue, perhaps they have a habit that makes you switch off or they're not a very skilled lover. Honesty is the only way to get round this, if so you may consider a relationship with the other. This is a feeling and this should be followed up fully, this is something which is felt and, consider and play out this desire.

* Fears. There may be powerful fears of happiness or getting a overpowering scene of lust, desire, fulfillment, drive, realization, actualization, rendering, delight, elation, heaven, delectation, enjoyment, joy, pleasure, groove, animation, elatedness, euphoria, exhilaration, inspiration, lift, uplift, exultance, exultancy, jubilance, jubilation, triumph, beatitude, blessedness, bliss, cheer, cheerfulness, felicity, gladness, joy, joyfulness, ecstasy, paradise, rapture, seventh heaven, paradise. Talking through these actions with the other or a close friend of the other may help.

A truer song was never sung

2008-07-02T13:19:00.001+01:00

Brownstone - If You Love Me
Uploaded by slzaza

Right Now I'm Winning

2008-07-02T12:51:00.002+01:00

So we constructed a party, and I made many boasts that there would be a sex cavern (surprisingly, there was, but I was not any part of the activities). I had two prospects in mind, very vague ones, one who had propositioned me when drunk and one who was flirting with me an awful lot, though I knew he just wanted to be assured that I fancied him. It's terrible when a straight boy assumes you will fancy them, but even worse when you sort of do, and even worse when you don't want to feed their narcissism but you do want to get your rocks off. Luckily neither showed up, so I was saved the embarassment of leching. There was another boy though, a gay one (they exist), and the evening, fuelled by copious alcohol, slowly became me sliding my legs in between his, grabbing his hand and having about thirty seconds of kissing, after which he went to the bathroom and passed out. I am either so good I gave him toxic shock syndrome, or else I am like Rogue and drained all his life force.

It reminded me though, how good boys are, and flirting, and kissing, and how much better it is to do all that with someone who actually wants to. Who needs straight boys dancing around the subject, all evasive and confusing, when you can have a boy who just gets in there? Much better.

And it has cured me, for now, of my desire for that narcissistic boy - he will get no satisfaction off me until I get desperate again - but for now, I can stand by my non sexual instincts and say 'Nah mate, nah'.

My record player is tempremental and often doesn't play my records at the right speeds, but it has been a bit better recently so I am listening to Nona Hendryx's 'Nona' album, it is so good. She looks so amazing on the cover as well.

Specifically the song 'Winning' if you can find it

2008-06-25T23:09:00.001+01:00

I don't care about the others

2008-06-23T12:42:00.004+01:00

Notes from the front

2008-06-02T00:12:00.002+01:00

I. He is an old friend and he's only recently become an object of desire. I wonder if I could seduce him, sometimes I think I could, sometimes I don't. I like his girlfriend too much to do anything though, and i certainly couldn't have a threesome if they offered. He once talked about having a big dick when he was drunk and once he told me about the kind of porn he liked an it turned me on so much.

II. He is has been my friend for a while but he is still a bit mysterious. When he was drunk he told me his penis was 8.5 inches and he told me if he had to have sex with one boy off our course it would be me or I. There is something very sexual about him which I can't pin down. I have just found out his girlfriend is very nice, so i couldn't do anything or have a threesome with them.

III. We kissed but a while ago. I was infatuated with him and I'm not anymore, but something about his body really gets me. When I am near it I want it badly. He has a girlfriend but I am convinced if I was a girl he would be with me.

IV. He came from Ireland and he might be a thug. He stayed with us and he said something about bisexuality but we were alone and nothing happened. He is short and I really like that.

V. I don't know him that well and he is usually shy. He was drunk and offered to bottom for me.

VI. He is a tutor so there is an extra barrier though he is not much older than me. I want to know him better, I can't fathom him. He is already at a distance so his absence is not so frustrating, but I want to get closer. There is a tuft of hair which peeks out of the top of his shirt on the chest.

VII. I don't fancy him but he is bisexual so I start to wonder. He is in a similar position to me. I won't do anything but today I saw down his shirt and there were about three hairs coming out of his chest.

VIII. He is beautiful, and I often embarass myself trying to impress him. We had a good talk recently though and I feel he knows me a little better. He has started going out with a good friend of mine, so I couldn't do anything and certainly couldn't have a threesome with them.

IX. There is a balcony; there are pine trees. There is a balustrade. There are flagstones on the ground and rhodedendron bushes around the garden. There is an clear sky above. My hair is long and dark and I lay it on the warm stone, resting my cheek on the seat. I can feel my body settle as it is tugged down by gravity; my hips and my shoulders stay upright. Every man I have ever loved enters and kneels before me.

The Unloved Lover; The Unloving Loved - March 3rd, 2008

2008-05-31T13:00:00.002+01:00

Luke has been added to the conversation.

((THE VIRGINAL BRIDE)) has left the conversation.

Matt has been added to the conversation.

Melanie has been added to the conversation.

James Ashley Crewe says (15:00):
Hi all

Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings has been added to the conversation.

((THE VIRGINAL BRIDE)) has been added to the conversation.

James Ashley Crewe says (15:00):
Welcome to Ecrit
Luke says (15:00):
afternoon
Melanie says (15:00):
good afternoon
Matt says (15:00):
afternoon
Matt says (15:01):
abi sends her apologies
((THE VIRGINAL BRIDE)) says (15:01):
hi
James Ashley Crewe says (15:01):
thanks matt
James Ashley Crewe says (15:01):
how are we all?
Melanie says (15:01):
good thanx
Matt says (15:01):
great thank you
Melanie says (15:02):
ive just put on my first buffet! so proud of myself
Melanie says (15:02):
lol
James Ashley Crewe says (15:02):
lovely
James Ashley Crewe says (15:02):
Today I'd like to talk about the unloved lover; its an unrequited love, but without some of the connotations of that tag; its not a secret.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:02):
Its a love everybody knows, a love in the open. Both the subject and the object are aware, and yet the subject is rejected. We start from this position of transparent rejection.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:02):
let's have a look at the first video!
James Ashley Crewe says (15:02):

Sarah-Kate has been added to the conversation.

Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:03):
hi
Melanie says (15:03):
hi SK
James Ashley Crewe says (15:03):
hi darren, hi Sarah Kate
James Ashley Crewe says (15:03):
we are watching the first video
Sarah-Kate says (15:03):
hey guys
Sarah-Kate says (15:03):
and gal
((THE VIRGINAL BRIDE)) says (15:03):
gals
Sarah-Kate says (15:03):
the one you sent in the email?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:03):

James Ashley Crewe says (15:04):
Brenda Holloway knows the man she loves does not love her, and yet she still comforts him in his own romantic hardship, even offering to help him win his girl back. She offers her shoulder to cry on; her love is such that she will forgo her own happiness and comfort just to be of use to him.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:04):
She becomes utterly his, aggressively negligent of her own welfare, bordering on a kind of emotional asceticism. She is available for him, almost grotesquely so. She inhabits an area between empathy and a subservience that verges on the repulsive
James Ashley Crewe says (15:04):
When do we go too far for the one we love? By offering too much, can we become repulsive?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:05):
What do we think about this?
Sarah-Kate says (15:05):
we do become repulsive, have on many of occasions.lol
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:05):
it depends if it is the same circumstances...
Sarah-Kate says (15:05):
butsomethin just takes over us
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:05):
whether the same kind of love is returned
James Ashley Crewe says (15:05):
can you describe it further SArah Kate, if you don't mind?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:06):
Well, Brenda says that she knows his love is not for her
Matt says (15:06):
is she not offering her shoulder, offering help, a bridge for his own relationship because in some aspects she shares his pain, shares his relationship with the other.
Luke says (15:06):
can the same kind of love be returned
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:06):
why does brenda nother then?
Sarah-Kate says (15:06):
well by making yourself so obviously desperate for another person, is unfortunatly somewhat repulsive
Luke says (15:06):
does each person love each other equally
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:06):
is it not just wasted energy?
Matt says (15:06):
i waste a lot of energy, it's all good
James Ashley Crewe says (15:07):
it's a gesture which won't satisfy her
Luke says (15:07):
true desperation is not atractive
Sarah-Kate says (15:07):
it seems to be the crueler someone was the more attention and effort i made
Matt says (15:07):
yeah, look at luke!
James Ashley Crewe says (15:07):
she won't get what she wants from him, but she's willing to get what she can, even if it hurts her
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:07):
scraps
Luke says (15:08):

Matt says (15:08):
is she not sharing his love though? even if she is not the object of his love?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:08):
She loves vicariously through him, maybe, incorprates his satisfaction into hers
Sarah-Kate says (15:09):
if you can thik about nothing but this one person, then the littlest thing will satify you. may it be that you think your helping the other, or just this eeling that they do want you around
Matt says (15:09):
we all have those conversations where one hears what the other is experiencing. We hear about their pain, their longing, where does the bystander come into the relationship?
Sarah-Kate says (15:10):
the bystander can empathise because they feel the same
Luke says (15:10):
its nice to think someone wants you around though frustrating that its not for the same reasons you do
James Ashley Crewe says (15:10):
she offeres comfort, she is a bystander, but she's not neutral - the man she addresses knows she loves him - can we accept this kind fo comfort from someone we know wants something from us?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:10):
*of
Matt says (15:11):
what are his motives?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:11):
we can't know - the song only comes from the unloved one
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:11):
i guess if you are that involved...you will take whatever you can get
James Ashley Crewe says (15:11):
but maybe we can theorise
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:11):
anything at all
Matt says (15:11):
does he know he hurts her by comforting himself on her shoulder? even if she offers
Sarah-Kate says (15:11):
we can and we do because we are selfish. i am selfish. i have accepted comfort from someone who i knew i shouldnt have
Sarah-Kate says (15:11):
of course he does
Matt says (15:12):
that evil bastard
Sarah-Kate says (15:12):
he is too envolved in his feelings
Sarah-Kate says (15:12):
lol
James Ashley Crewe says (15:13):
it becomes a different exchange, one based on what we can get - the unloved one gets the contact from her love object she can, even if it hurts her; the unloving one gets the comfort he can from her, even if he knows he is hurting her, or will hurt her
Matt says (15:13):
there is nothing rational about love
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:13):
how will he hurt her further if she is fully aware of her own needs and actions?
Matt says (15:13):
its violent, chaotic, especially when it isn't returned. Even if the love is shared, it doesn't always have to be returned
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:13):
surely she is also responsible for hurting herself?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:14):
of course
Sarah-Kate says (15:14):
because she still has that little lingering hope
James Ashley Crewe says (15:14):
she makes herself obscenely available, obscenely vulnerable
Matt says (15:14):
there is always a balance, even if both subjects are involves, they regulate each others desires, they disappint
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:14):
its self indulgence at its best
Sarah-Kate says (15:14):
the one she sees in films were the object of her love realises right at the nd that she is infact what he wants
Sarah-Kate says (15:14):
but really when does this ever happen in real life
Luke says (15:14):
never alas
Matt says (15:14):
i'm obscenely available, but i have a TV, so i find other ways to deal with it
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:15):
ha
James Ashley Crewe says (15:15):
lets step it along
James Ashley Crewe says (15:15):

James Ashley Crewe says (15:15):
Bettye Lavette asks for mercy from her former lover. She asks that he let her down easy, that he soften the blow of his parting by showing her some kindness. The unloved lover is pathetic, a joke, laying themselves down before someone who doesn't want them, in front of everybody, a humiliating position. However, there is power in this position too.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:15):
By making a demand, like Bettye does, demanding mercy, an unloved lover draws their love object into the arena of exchange, a place where the object is lacking. They cannot return the love presented to them, they cannot meet the demand. Therefore, they are exposed as missing something, possessing a flaw.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:16):
In the utter passivity of unloved loving there is also a power, and an aggression, a desire to draw the object into the realm of humiliation and lack as well.

James Ashley Crewe says (15:16):
an unloved lover is not only hurting herself in her love, but attempting to hurt him as well
Sarah-Kate says (15:17):
they also recieve the sympathy of others, they are hurt one, and in this become both pathetic but potentially stronger
Matt says (15:18):
but there is no letting down easily, she submits to him.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:18):
how do you mean?

Melanie is already in this conversation.

Matt says (15:19):
well it is this demand, but a demand will always lead to more demands, it will never be fulfilled
Sarah-Kate says (15:19):
but by asking she is letting him know thatshe is aware that he no longer loves him, so in a way sheis letting herself down easyerly
Luke says (15:20):
true
Matt says (15:20):
if he was to let her down easily, to not walk away, to not turn his back; we are left with nothing, a lie perhaps
James Ashley Crewe says (15:20):
her demands will never end and he can't fulfil them
Sarah-Kate says (15:20):
prolonging the inevitable

Melanie is already in this conversation.

Matt says (15:20):
which is why he needs to turn his back
Matt says (15:20):
sever the investment

Melanie has left the conversation.

Melanie has been added to the conversation.

Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:21):
to refuse contact then?
Matt says (15:21):
if there is always some aspect of exchange occuring, a giving, then more will be sought
James Ashley Crewe says (15:21):
the appetite is never sated
Matt says (15:21):
'lets just be friends' - does that work? or an i too stubborn
Sarah-Kate says (15:22):
too stubborn
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:22):
toooooo
Luke says (15:22):
you can never go back to being friends
CARRIE says (15:22):
you can
Sarah-Kate says (15:22):
never?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:22):
what do we feel about the idea that this is aggressive, that this demand for more is an attempt to hurt the one who won't love us?
Luke says (15:22):
no thems the rules
Melanie says (15:22):
it depends on the people involved
CARRIE says (15:22):
i like aggression, it cures most things
Matt says (15:22):
that unloving bastard
CARRIE says (15:22):
or helps at least
James Ashley Crewe says (15:23):
it makes things easier - pain is more managable if we can bring someone down with us
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:23):
i dont think it is always aggressive
Matt says (15:23):
there is always an aspect of aggressivity, how can one be fragmented and not find react
Melanie says (15:23):
we hate to suffer alone
Melanie says (15:24):
even if it means making someone else suffer alongside us
James Ashley Crewe says (15:24):
it could be a punishment as well
Matt says (15:24):
my - we're all quite scary, no one piss you guys off
Sarah-Kate says (15:24):
it has to be at a certain point. not recieving makes you bitter
CARRIE says (15:24):
they should suffer for making us suffer i say
Melanie says (15:24):
an eye for an eye
Melanie says (15:24):
etc
Matt says (15:24):
mels about to get her pitchfork out i think
Sarah-Kate says (15:24):
and so it goes on in a vicious circle of bringong each other down
Melanie says (15:24):
but then you get into revenge territory
Melanie says (15:24):
and it gets scary
Luke says (15:24):
i very rarely vent my anggression
Melanie says (15:25):
matt - lol
Melanie says (15:25):
im quite placid really
James Ashley Crewe says (15:25):
but its a passive revenge - i am utterly at your desposable, i am utterly weak in front of you
Luke says (15:25):
not sure if that is because i choose not to or i just cant
James Ashley Crewe says (15:25):
but your ggresion will come out other places
Melanie says (15:25):
i find it quite difficult to be aggressive towards people
Luke says (15:25):
what kind of places?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:25):
(crit group cough cough)
Melanie says (15:26):
haha
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:26):
?
Sarah-Kate says (15:26):
i find it too easy, if the right button is pushed
Luke says (15:26):
ha ha ahh well
Luke says (15:26):
you kick them
Sarah-Kate says (15:26):
lol thats true
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:26):
i think acohol fuels this aggression to come out
James Ashley Crewe says (15:26):
you say you can't vent your aggression - where does this aggression come from?
Sarah-Kate says (15:26):
most definatly.
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:26):
when you realise you are hitting a brick wall
Luke says (15:27):
lots of places really
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:27):
going no-where
James Ashley Crewe says (15:27):
Sexual frustration?
Luke says (15:27):
i find alcohol more of a depressant
Melanie says (15:27):
youre an angry young man, luke
Sarah-Kate says (15:27):
it comes from our unconscious a little, our vunerable
Matt says (15:27):
i think it becomes an aggression towards the self
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:27):
i think it comes from a lack of feeling safe
Luke says (15:27):
ha ha you want a slap
Melanie says (15:28):
we need a channel for our aggression
Matt says (15:28):
the image of the loved object has left, we are no longer percieved as lovable. the ideal ego has failed
Melanie says (15:28):
luke - well have less of that
Luke says (15:28):
yes miss
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:28):
a reminder that this perfect possibility of happiness was just a mirage
James Ashley Crewe says (15:28):
so aggression can come from frustration, from a failure as a loved object
Melanie says (15:28):
we need a channel for our aggression, and the most lkely outlet is the person/persons who are making us feel frustrated
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:28):
one that will probably repeat
James Ashley Crewe says (15:29):
even if it's an unconcious aggression we let out upon them
Luke says (15:29):
you lose your mojo lol for want of a better word
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:29):
mojo
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:29):
i like it luke
James Ashley Crewe says (15:29):
thats more of a castration anxiety i would have said!
Matt says (15:30):
we can poke fun at lukes mojo all day
Melanie says (15:30):
someone else was watching austin powers the other night, lol
Sarah-Kate says (15:30):
lol i was thinking the same
Matt says (15:30):
lol
James Ashley Crewe says (15:30):
lol lol lol
Luke says (15:30):
thats the last time you poke my mojo matt
James Ashley Crewe says (15:30):
alright
Melanie says (15:30):
rotflmao
Luke says (15:30):
no i missed it
James Ashley Crewe says (15:30):
Well let's move on
Melanie says (15:30):
yes, lets
Luke says (15:30):
sorry
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:30):
brb
Sarah-Kate says (15:30):
next vid?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:31):
not discplinging you
James Ashley Crewe says (15:31):
yes
James Ashley Crewe says (15:31):
(No longer available)
(0.00 – 1.15)

James Ashley Crewe says (15:31):
We've used examples from the unloved lovers, Let us put ourselves in the opposite position: the unloving lover.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:31):
In Superbad, Seth pursues Jules throughout the film, convinced that he will at least get a handjob from her. When the moment comes, as he perceives it, he is rejected. Jules is shocked, but she tries to ameliorate the situation, she tries to let Seth down easy. He is drunk and doesn't take the hint, he digs deeper.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:32):
She says 'not right now', he replies 'there's no other time'; if not now, then when? It dawns on him that the answer is never. Seth demands a rejection from Jules, the rejection is forced out of her by his behaviour.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:32):
What can she do? How do we deal with such an offer, an offer we don't want to accept?
Luke says (15:33):
an outright rejection is always prefered over not knowing
Sarah-Kate says (15:33):
badly
James Ashley Crewe says (15:33):
is it?
Luke says (15:34):
i would say so then there is something to move on from otherwise you find yourself in limbo wondering when will be the right time
Sarah-Kate says (15:34):
people say that an outright rejection is what they want, but whatthey reslly want is too prolong the rejection, to obtain hope
Melanie says (15:34):
if the object of affection rejects you, whre than can you direct your unrequited feelings and frustrations?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:34):
i have often been in this position - you want to know, but when you don't know, hope remains, which is tantalising
Melanie says (15:34):
like SK said, we need the feeling of hope
Matt says (15:34):
was this not marcel mauss 'the gift' he brought the beer, he is the provider and she is in his debt? plus alcohol is there to impair her judgement
Luke says (15:34):
hope is painful i would rather deal with rejection
Matt says (15:34):
to make her like him
Sarah-Kate says (15:34):
but we lingr in our own fault. we know we have been rejected but we choose to hang on
Matt says (15:34):
only he falls victim to his own plan
Melanie says (15:36):
som people may feel the need to hang on to an unloving lover because it gives them hope that maybe, one day, they will become loved
James Ashley Crewe says (15:36):
he presumes however that she will need to be drunk to get with him
James Ashley Crewe says (15:36):
he already knows it's doomed in a way
Melanie says (15:36):
its like setting a trap for her
Matt says (15:36):
he knows the love will not be returned
James Ashley Crewe says (15:37):
until it is said plainly (and even then not necessiarly) there is the possibilitiy, the potentail for something to emerge
Melanie says (15:37):
indeed
Matt says (15:37):
he spent his childhood drawing the phalus, his own impotence. He made the drawings powerful, bold, mr T
James Ashley Crewe says (15:38):
he has already acknowledged his failure before he has begun
Matt says (15:38):
the whole film was about his failures
Melanie says (15:39):
what film is that again?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:39):
Superbad
Sarah-Kate says (15:39):
superbad
Melanie says (15:39):
cool
Sarah-Kate says (15:39):
its very funny
Sarah-Kate says (15:40):
why do we pursue or own failure
James Ashley Crewe says (15:40):
let's go back to signs - have we all expereince signals from a love object?
Melanie says (15:40):
because there may be a grain of hope?
Sarah-Kate says (15:40):
do we just enjoy being depressed, being the weak, the needy lol]
James Ashley Crewe says (15:40):
perhaps
Sarah-Kate says (15:40):
i know
Sarah-Kate says (15:41):
stupidity
James Ashley Crewe says (15:41):
perhaps utter weakness, utter futility offers it's own position of power
James Ashley Crewe says (15:41):
you start off exhausted, emptied, so nothing more is at stake
Melanie says (15:41):
things can only get better, sort of thing
Sarah-Kate says (15:42):
things can only get betttttter ...
Melanie says (15:42):
lol
James Ashley Crewe says (15:42):
or maybe that any blow you land can not be returned
Sarah-Kate says (15:42):
lol yea mel
Sarah-Kate says (15:42):
how so?
Matt says (15:42):
you're always going to be subject to the other
Luke says (15:42):
are there really signs or do we just missinturpet things through desperation
Melanie says (15:43):
i think the latter
James Ashley Crewe says (15:43):
you are already nothing, already humiliated, already ridiculous - from here you are safe
Luke says (15:43):
ahh crap lol
Matt says (15:43):
i wouldn't always call it desperation
James Ashley Crewe says (15:43):
i agree - we read logic into things that is not necessarily there
Sarah-Kate says (15:43):
true
Melanie says (15:43):
hope, again?
Melanie says (15:43):
waiting to be thrown a bone
Sarah-Kate says (15:44):
but also when n that posision of power, of knowing someone really wants you, it is easy to give small hope
James Ashley Crewe says (15:44):
When i love a boy, as i do, i interpret his gestures as significant when they are probably not
Sarah-Kate says (15:44):
unintentionally
James Ashley Crewe says (15:44):
a certain look that lasts too long, a touch on my waist, an invitation - these all become charged with importance
Melanie says (15:44):
i do that too
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:44):
isnt there some enjoyment out of that?
Melanie says (15:44):
im champion at reading into things too much
James Ashley Crewe says (15:44):
definately
Melanie says (15:45):
a kind of morbid enjoyment
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:45):
its the good times i think
James Ashley Crewe says (15:45):
this si why we don't abandon a love we know is not goin to come to fruition
Melanie says (15:45):
a nice form of self-torture
Matt says (15:45):
it's a painful temporary enjoyment
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:45):
when things are fresh
James Ashley Crewe says (15:45):
the joy of loving is enough to keep us going, albeit in a volatile state
Matt says (15:45):
a taster of what the feeling of love could be
Matt says (15:45):
but it soon becomes anxiety, becomes too real
James Ashley Crewe says (15:45):
Let's extend this further, this blindness to truth
James Ashley Crewe says (15:45):
as it may or may not be
James Ashley Crewe says (15:46):

Matt says (15:46):
i love this video
James Ashley Crewe says (15:46):
In Wayne's World, Wayne's ex-girlfriend Stacy is a psycho hose beast. She is made a lunatic by love; she doesn't see the truth, she continues to treat Wayne as if they were still together. She behaves farcically, extremely, offering gifts, offering promiscuity, endangering herself.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:46):
He rejects her, but she keeps coming, oblivious to it.
James Ashley Crewe says (15:46):
When has someone gone too far?
Matt says (15:46):
what does the gunrack mean?
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:46):
she buys him a gun rack
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:46):

Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:46):
now thats love
James Ashley Crewe says (15:46):
How far does hospitality towards our unloved lover stretch?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:47):
When have they done too much, what do they have to do to earn cruelty?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:47):
How do we reach our limit?

Sarah-Kate has left the conversation.

Matt says (15:47):
that the once loved object becomes cancerous?! we cut it off, leave, but it keeps coming back, it becomes overly interested in us
Matt says (15:48):
the object that seeks us is no longer desired, because it involves no chase?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:48):
again she is grotesquely available
Luke says (15:49):
you know you will eventually reach this point and the longing for someone will end
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:49):
sorry guys and gals but im gonna have to go now...
Melanie says (15:49):
the most telling thing in the last clip is stacys necklace
James Ashley Crewe says (15:49):
bye Darren, thanks for attending
Luke says (15:49):
but you do not remember what it was that made you reach this point before
James Ashley Crewe says (15:49):
go on mel...
Luke says (15:49):
and how long it will take to reach it again
James Ashley Crewe says (15:50):
Luke - it is unimaginable
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:50):
no worries...Art in the Pub tommorow people...better get some sleep
Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings says (15:50):
ciao x
Melanie says (15:50):
see you tomorrow
Matt says (15:50):
brb
Melanie says (15:51):
stacy wears waynes name because she lives for him
Melanie says (15:51):
she is in effect bound to him
Luke says (15:51):
i know it will always come but like you say i cant imagin what it will be like when it does
James Ashley Crewe says (15:51):
i didn't realise that was her necklace
Melanie says (15:51):
he tries to shake her off but shes having none of it
James Ashley Crewe says (15:51):
she has branded herself as his property
James Ashley Crewe says (15:52):
what can he do?
Melanie says (15:52):
its a symbol of her attachment to him
Melanie says (15:52):
theres nothing he can do, really
James Ashley Crewe says (15:52):
i ma interested in this question of how far is too far? How long do we humour someone who loves us, and when do they ask too much?
Luke says (15:52):
we allways want the thing we are least likely to get
Melanie says (15:52):
he's stuck with her because, for her, there is still hope that the unloving lover may yet show some love
Luke says (15:53):
it makes it all that more appealing
James Ashley Crewe says (15:53):
because we do not risk an actual encounter with it - it can remain imagined, an ideal
James Ashley Crewe says (15:53):
it does not run the risk of being exposed as lacking

Darren Christopher Dryden Chouings has left the conversation.

James Ashley Crewe says (15:54):
when do you think a person has gone too far in the demands they make of someone who doesn't love them?
James Ashley Crewe says (15:54):
when do their actions become violations?
CARRIE says (15:55):
when they get physical
Melanie says (15:55):
id say that too
Melanie says (15:55):
but theres other things too
James Ashley Crewe says (15:55):
what kind of physicality - sexual or violent, flirtatious, innapropriate?
CARRIE says (15:55):
any kind
Melanie says (15:56):
it depends. i think any of those could be
CARRIE says (15:56):
but also when they become emotionally demanding
James Ashley Crewe says (15:56):
what kind of demand might this be?
CARRIE says (15:56):
demanding attention
CARRIE says (15:56):
and love and time
CARRIE says (15:56):
i guess
James Ashley Crewe says (15:57):
so what do we do when they demand too much?
Matt says (15:57):
sarah-kate can't back in the room, so she sends her apologies
CARRIE says (15:57):
ease it off
Melanie says (15:57):
try and let them down gently
James Ashley Crewe says (15:57):
thnaks matt
Melanie says (15:58):
easer said than done, tho
James Ashley Crewe says (15:58):
yes
CARRIE says (15:58):
tell them
Melanie says (15:58):
because if this person is so involved with you, then they prob wont take no ofr an answer
CARRIE says (15:58):
ell em straight
Melanie says (15:58):
denial and all that
James Ashley Crewe says (15:59):
but maybe this is (partly) what their entire pursuit is after - their violations and the liberties they take are a demand for you to tell them 'NO', tell them straight, kill the love
CARRIE says (15:59):
yeah because they wanna know
CARRIE says (15:59):
fo sho
Matt says (16:00):
yes, but the very denial for love may be the true demand
Melanie says (16:00):
a longing for chastisement
Melanie says (16:00):
a demand for attention from the loved one, even if its negative attention
Luke says (16:00):
sorry people got distracted by ebay
Matt says (16:01):
i'm thinking of the TV series house
James Ashley Crewe says (16:01):
go on
Matt says (16:01):
House, the main doctor finds one of his employees is in love with him, the series continues with him rejecting her, mocking her as he always does
Matt says (16:02):
in a later episode he makes a statement, he asks her out for dinner. She cannot accept his offer.
Matt says (16:03):
his offer was intentional, he was not serious about it, merely wanted to point out she was not really interested in him as a person, but as a condition
James Ashley Crewe says (16:03):
transference love perhaps
Melanie says (16:03):
so she wasnt in love with him, but she was in love with his negative attitude towards her?
Matt says (16:04):
she fell in love with his misery, she wanted to help him, love him. When he pretended to be fine, be happy, cured, her feelings for him were lost
Matt says (16:04):
when the offer was returned to her she could not accept
Matt says (16:04):
because the very thing she sought in him was his denial
Melanie says (16:05):
masochism, in a way
Matt says (16:05):
but is the true fantasmatic point of desire the lure
Matt says (16:05):
when it becomes real it almost becomes too much
Matt says (16:06):
there is always a level of fantasy, rejection allows fantasy to be maintained
James Ashley Crewe says (16:06):
in a 'real' expereicne, one where love is returned, the fantasy risks coming apart
Matt says (16:06):
it barrs the goal. The last level before one reaches an aim desire steps in to protect the person, stop them falling
Melanie says (16:06):
we revel in our fantasy creations
CARRIE says (16:06):
the real thing's always gonna be a disappointment
Matt says (16:07):
the real thing is still dull
James Ashley Crewe says (16:07):
so perhaps we make demands of those we love, outrageous cruel demands, because we can ensure that they will be kept distant, unable to fulfil them, and so our fantasy of them can continue
Matt says (16:07):
even with the loved object, during sex etc, zizek says that there is always on some level a fantasmatic point. we have to still return to fantasy even in the real situation to maintain it
Melanie says (16:07):
perhaps indeed
Melanie says (16:08):
the real thing is never as good as the fantasy
James Ashley Crewe says (16:09):
Barthes says in A Lover's Discourse:
James Ashley Crewe says (16:09):
In the other's perfect and 'embalmed' figure... I perceive suddenly a speck of corruption. This speck is a tiny one: a gesture, a word, an object, a garment, something unexpected which appears (which dawns) from a region I had never even suspected, and suddenly attaches the loved object to a commonplace world. Could the other be vulgar, whose elegance and originality I had so religiously hymned?
James Ashley Crewe says (16:09):
Here is a gesture by which is revealed a being of another race. I am flabbergasted: I hear a counter-rhythm: something like a syncope in the lovely phrase of the loved being, the noise of a rip in the smooth envelope of the Image
Matt says (16:09):
the real thing is quite disturbing, it's too real. Why would anyone want to put that in their mouth or that in there? fantasy is brought in to censor, to allow enjoyment
Melanie says (16:10):
precisely
Melanie says (16:10):
why would i want a real man? they snore and fart in bed
James Ashley Crewe says (16:10):
the position of being unloved allows to avoid the real thing, the upset it causes in our enjoyment of a fantasy
Matt says (16:11):
because a real man allows you to project fantasys, you graft them on him. He is subject to your fantasies and vice versa
Matt says (16:12):
the unloved is a renewal almost
Matt says (16:12):
I'm Dr Who, i have regenerated and i'm quite a different person, the unloved subject
James Ashley Crewe says (16:13):
with a struture of unfulfilable demands we can keep the real man away from us, even as we keep him close enough to project our love onto him
Matt says (16:13):
it was only afterwards, on reflection that i found myself realising 'i never liked that anyway, why am i mourning it? It was her who gained enjoyment out of that, i shared in something else, alien to my own interests'
Matt says (16:14):
i'll just project my fantasies on strangers, the ones without transference, i create them...why should they shatter my fantasies by me getting to know them
Matt says (16:15):
wow, i'm already seeing a better life for myself
James Ashley Crewe says (16:15):
haha
James Ashley Crewe says (16:15):
on that note
James Ashley Crewe says (16:15):
what a wonderful melodious note
James Ashley Crewe says (16:15):
let's bring Ecrit to an end
James Ashley Crewe says (16:15):
My exhibition goes up tomorrow
James Ashley Crewe says (16:16):
Thank you all for attending
Matt says (16:16):
thank uyou for such a wonderful ecrit jamie!
Melanie says (16:16):
thanks for being a good host!
James Ashley Crewe says (16:16):
naturlich
Luke says (16:16):
thanks
Melanie says (16:16):
you dont disappoint
James Ashley Crewe says (16:17):
ah thank you
James Ashley Crewe says (16:17):
pity some people couldn't be here, but nevermind
Matt says (16:17):
jamie hasn't let us down carefully though
Luke says (16:17):
ha ha
Matt says (16:17):
who is hosting next week?
Melanie says (16:17):
me
James Ashley Crewe says (16:17):
lovely
CARRIE says (16:17):
matt
CARRIE says (16:18):
bring me some food
Melanie says (16:18):
hope i get my msn working before then, lol
James Ashley Crewe says (16:18):
are there any drinks tonight?
CARRIE says (16:18):
not for me
Luke says (16:18):
dont think al be coming
Melanie says (16:18):
not for me...im ensconed within the wilds of rotherham today
Melanie says (16:18):
*ensconced
CARRIE says (16:18):
at one point next week we should have a social
Matt says (16:18):
i think we shal save it for art in the pub tomorrow
James Ashley Crewe says (16:18):
wow, that's a no then
CARRIE says (16:18):
in the studio or at someone's house
James Ashley Crewe says (16:19):
we need another cocktail party
CARRIE says (16:19):
with finger food
CARRIE says (16:19):
NO
CARRIE says (16:19):
finger food!!!
James Ashley Crewe says (16:19):
haha finger food an cocktails go together like ham and eggs baby
Melanie says (16:19):
hehe
CARRIE says (16:19):
egg babies
James Ashley Crewe says (16:19):
Alright, well thank you again, and i'll see you tomorrow
James Ashley Crewe says (16:19):
bye my dears
Melanie says (16:19):
see you tomorrow
Melanie says (16:19):
hope all goes well for the exhibition hanging
CARRIE says (16:20):
hope the hanging goes well
CARRIE says (16:20):
ha
CARRIE says (16:20):
love it
Luke says (16:20):
cya guys
Melanie says (16:20):
lol

Luke has left the conversation.

James Ashley Crewe says (16:20):
thanks - a reminder that the studio will be closed till 12
James Ashley Crewe says (16:20):
and toodle pip
Melanie says (16:20):
no probs
Matt says (16:21):
goodbye all
Melanie says (16:21):
see you all tomorrow
Melanie says (16:21):
adios amigos
CARRIE says (16:21):
bye x

CARRIE has left the conversation.

Melanie says (16:21):
vaya con dios
Melanie says (16:21):
x

Melanie has left the conversation.

Indiana Jones and the Natwest Cup of Asset Retrival

2008-05-31T11:29:00.002+01:00

The new Indiana Jones film is stupid. This is a topical pop culture post (next week Sex and the City!). Shia LaBoeuf however has a pompadour and a sweaty neck in it and i love those two things. The plot has so many holes i threw the film over my shoulders and head and walked into 19th Century Romania and everyone just thought I was an old lady with a tattered shawl on and they didn't even question it or anything.

Before the film we went to old orleans restaurant, me oh my if it isn't the most louisianaish (that word sounds lebanese now) place in the world. I appreciated it greatly. A nice boy called James served us and broke the barrier between waiter and customer by asking us what film we were going to see. I was a little nice moment of humanity where he laughed at our jokes and then went and got our drinks. I would like another moment of humanity with him, preferably one where something goes inside someone.

I thought how nice it would be to have a boyfriend who works in old orleans, out in Valley Centertainment, the most enchanting place in Sheffield. You could go 'Oh where are you going James?' and he say 'Oh, to work' and you'd nod with a big smile and say 'nice'.

The Sweetest Girl

2008-05-31T11:19:00.005+01:00

C. Spencer Yeh is in a band called Burning Star Core but I have never listen to them. Rather I have cupped his haircut to my ear and listened to it and it said 'boner'

Jay Baruchel is in films like Knocked Up and was a main character in Undeclared. I have seen both of these which is why i want to make him bite a pillow and arch his back towards me

Oh Jay, you can try and suck your cheeks in and look all smooth but I know you're not, thats why I love you. Never change.

100th Post

2008-03-21T00:40:00.003Z

We've slacked a little lately, but don't worry, our love lives are as sickening as ever. Let's have a celebration with celebrities!

Alex Frost

Ben Whishaw (I like him best when he's looking all panicked and upset)

I Want

2008-02-17T00:17:00.002Z

I'm looking for affection and respect
A little passion... - Joni Mitchell

Furthurmore, I want

- Ginger hair

- stubble or equivalent

- tight bodies, but not skinny

- good dress sense

- intellectualism

- affection without outrageous demands, and great swooping liberties taken

- a friend who will fuck me basically

- someone who stays distant enough to remain desirable

- someone who will actually reciprocate ~ something mutual, not uncalled for or rejected

- to be considerably worse than me a some things, so i can feel superior

- to understand i need to work

- to make more sense of me than i can, but not tell me this in anyway so that i don't begin to vomit blood

- to not mind my fat, blemishes and my vast plantations of body hair, or else to help me remove these

- to cut through my seething hive like a knife

- to let me know

You missed a bit...

2008-02-08T23:14:00.001Z

You might need me more than you think you will

2008-01-27T10:17:00.001Z

gracefull end this the best light, like a swan skirting across the top of the water, across the lake. The grass should flurish again, it should fall and fail. we shall see.

Sir Frances Drake

Henry Hudson

Jacques Cartier

Robert LaSalle

Hernando Cortez

Francisco Coronado

Francisco Pizarro

Marco Polo

Vasco da Gama

Christopher Columbus

Ferdinand Magellan

Samuel de Champlain

Louis Joliet

Father Marquette

Hernando De Soto

Giovanni da Verranzano

Daniel Sean Fogarty

(NO IMAGE FOUND)

And now...

2007-12-05T18:41:00.000Z

We get the melancholy, the wistful wondering etc.

Songs and words of songs come to me - they may not describe my feelings exactly, but they sketch around them

Bettye Swann sings 'don't touch me, if you don't love me, don't do it sweetheart...'. 'don't open the door to heaven if i can't come in'.

Faith Evans sings 'I don't know where we stand'.

Robyn sings 'boy, you can tell me anytime you like'.

No song quite fits, but maybe together they can

let you know how i feel.

i want more
i want to know
i don't want to hear no

ALCOHOL EQUALS WONDEr

2007-12-04T04:10:00.000Z

take one part vodka and cloudy lemonade, one part vodka, one part whiskey and coke, one part rose wine, one part sweet bos white wine, one part vodka and diet coke, mis together with a boy and you will get kissing aplenty - it was wiked. If it turns into anything. we will see. But the fact remains it HAPPENED, i got a mouthful of someone i actually fancy - wikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkked. Night all

xxx

2007-11-12T07:45:00.000Z

We are going here til Thursday

Frame Prototypes vol. I

2007-11-01T18:55:00.000Z

work by Jamie

Sighting

2007-10-27T17:42:00.000+01:00

There is a boy who works in Lush in Sheffield who is in fact lush himself. He has a shaved head, a big black arm tattoo and many face piercings. He's like a lean little whippet as well, i wanted to sink my teeth into his sinewy neck.

AWESOME

AAWWEESSOOMMEE

AAAWWWEEESSSOOOMMMEEE

AAAAWWWWEEEESSSSOOOOMMMMEEEE

black lite craic

2007-10-21T16:22:00.000+01:00

Boys with metal stuck through their faces are awesome

Especially if they have an anti-eyebrow

There is a boy at uni with a bridge piercing, both eyebrows, lips, flesh tunnels, and an anti-eyebrow on the left. I nearly melted when i saw him.

Uni has started again - the first years kind of better than i expected. There is one who never comes in, lazy fuck, but there is a picture of him in his studio with big ole flesh tunnels, check shirt and blond frosting.

But i have realised i am a scopophile and anything i touch turns to ash in the eyes of my desire.

Check out our new Studio from this Thursday - see if you can spot me and Dan!

byebles

At home with Daniel Sean Fogarty

2007-09-16T20:53:00.000+01:00

I have decided to give the girl hunting a miss for a while while i calm my sex drive though making music and artwork and writing (alto this text will be very short i expect).

I did however have a lovely dream last night about a girl which i do/did really really like
(I'm not sure at the moment)
Which i wrote a song around its still taking shape as i type.

Truth in advertising

2007-09-10T16:58:00.000+01:00

Cocteau Twins - Frou-Frou Foxes In Midsummer Fires

Frou Frou Foxes In Midsummer Fires

2007-09-10T16:44:00.000+01:00

Shawn Desman is my guru

Frank21 is my beau

Holy War In My Pants

2007-09-05T22:09:00.000+01:00

My Re-sealed Cherry is popped.

Thoroughly.

Everything on me is sore and tired, but it was worth it. I have visible bruises.

Blue Milk

2007-09-02T14:34:00.000+01:00

48 hours of unparalelled nervous excitement meets 30 minutes of actual contact

Yes, i nearly had a kiss (but not).

There is a certain someone, who lives in a certain foreign country, who i befriended around Christmas. Me and this certain someone, we shall call him J, had a little je n'ais ce quoi between us when we hung out, then he left, but emailed me telling me he had wanted to kiss me but was too shy. As was the case for me. So i kicked myself, and even just this week, was discussing with my friends how he had been my only potential mate in two years and i had missed the boat (because my conversations are basically verbal renderings of this blog with less attempts at humour).

Then i get an email revealing that he is here, in Sheffield, for the weekend. I nearly shat myself, because i didn't really think I'd ever see him again. So i become a jumpy, jittery mess of nerves and excitement, because, you know, it's HIM, the guy i should of just kissed when i had the chance. And let me tell you he is FINE. So i anticipate us meeting, going for a drink, maybe to Bungalows & Bears, a booth in the back, i will introduce him to Sailor Jerry's and Coke, and we will kiss, because we both wanted to right? And now he is back. And then maybe we will go back to my house, and you know, boink. The prospect of this, and just the prospect of seeing him again, makes me a mess, but i go to meet him on Saturday, heart a flutter.

He turned up a little late, shorter than i remembered, and we walk up along the Moor where he wants to buy things. And then it becomes clear that it will be a brief visit, as his friend he is staying with has arranged activities for the day. He was very apologetic and everything, saying he wished we could hang out longer. But our huge reunion became walking from The Showroom, along the Moor, visiting 3 shops, walking up Cemetary Rd. and saying goodbye! The whole thing lasted half an hour. I had brought condoms, my house key, and warned my mum i might be staying over in Sheffield!

As we said goodbye, i got a long hug, he held my arm and blew me a kiss as he went. But that was as close to a romantic liason as we got.

I wasn't upset or annoyed with him, not even really disappointed. It was just strange to go from 2 days of extreme romantic excitement right back to normal, which is complete lack of prospects, and making jokes about things shrivelling up through lack of use, har de fucking har. I felt a little foolish for building it up so much as well. But you know, he said he wanted to kiss me, i said i wanted to kiss him, is it too much to think we might kiss?

Oh well, what can you do?

Get back on your fucking blog and write about it.

miniature: Mel Roberts

2007-08-31T13:08:00.000+01:00

Mel Roberts is one of my favourite photographers - he was active in the 50's-60's-70's taking erotic/physique pictoral shots of boys. I have mixed feelings about 'Gay Photography' - Ryan McGinley, Stuart Sandford and other BUTT types, it kind of errs on the side of insularity for me - it often feels a Greek mode of homosexuality, the veneration and elevation of men, and the rejection of women. But Mel Roberts has nostalgia and commerciality on his side, which is what makes me love him. Plus hot boys.

Jimmy Stone at Topanga Canyon

Jimmy Stone

Butch Wallace

Don Anderson

Ron Brouliette

Tad Bennett

Joey Roberts at Yosemite

Joey Roberts at Yosemite

Mike & Rich

Don't just stand there pick the money up baby

2007-08-29T22:54:00.000+01:00

what does this mean to us?

http://channels.isp.netscape.com/whatsnew/package.jsp?name=fte/redheadedpain/redheadedpain&floc=wn-nx

The Search For: Sharon Tate 'The Fearless Vampire Killers' Era

2007-08-29T15:48:00.000+01:00

DYE DIE GINGER

2007-08-26T07:53:00.000+01:00

I understand it is very early, but this desplays my passion on the subject.

I woke today to be told that ginger hair was dieing out. We can not let this happen and I will make it my duty to not make this happen as i am sure Jamie will do everything he can to stop the decline in ginger haired boys and girls. The state of ginger hair at present is low on figures as it is.

This post as does my glowing locks acts as a beakon to any ginger girls who also shear a passion for ginger

Only last night i re-dyed my hair ginger.

the search V: Justin Long

2007-08-24T14:43:00.001+01:00

I feel like i should be mildy ashamed of this one, but i don't know why. i wish i was Hideo. And apparantly this is him in Jeepers Creepers - i believe this shot panned out the reveal his eyeless corpse, but don't let that put you off beating it.

New Shoes

2007-08-23T21:07:00.001+01:00

Weave Overload

Movies, Multigrains, Men and Mondays

2007-08-23T20:39:00.000+01:00

Right so me and my little sister Lilly went to the Holy Land that is Valley Centertanement on Wednesday to see The Simpson’s Movie which was like watching the Simpson’s for an hour and a bit not that this is a bad, although I felt a little underfed when I exited the cinema partly due to the multigrain bar which was the only object I had to suckle on but I felt that it was not as long and as gag filled as it could of been. But It comes highly recommended........

A day or too before this screening and a while before I had decided on a new hair cut something like a crew cut but from the 1940's or 30's well like Buster Keaton really a man with the beauty of every man put together and then strained to get the pips out and 9 out of ten times he always gets the girl....

So I got to work on my hair and it looks kind of good, its a bit more like a well you will see sometime soon when I manage to upload some photos. While we are on the subject I have been working my way through the silent comedians and am currently watching my way thought the Buster Keaton box set and the best film so far is Sherlock Jr (1924) an incredible film as always a harrowing tale of love and justice, Buster plays the part of a cinema projectionist and aspiring detective who falls asleep on the job and dreams himself into the film solving crimes and creating wonderful slapstick moments (one of which although not in this movie was referenced within The Simpson’s Movie).....I wont spoil the ending.

Another batch of jam was made the other day from our faithful plum tree. Wonderful

the search IV: Alex Neilson

2007-08-21T00:44:00.002+01:00

2007-08-21T00:44:00.001+01:00

Green Man Appraisal

2007-08-20T20:43:00.000+01:00

I'm back like crack.

Got in from Green Man around 3 today. It was a good weekend, of course no romantic progress was made, though hotties were spotted. I saw - in chrono order -

SLOW CLUB - good drumsgirl boyguitar band, very poppy and fun, with odd percussion like a chair and bottles of water, i enjoyed
KING CREOSOTE - alright, not as good as i have seen him before, but fun. Comme ci Comme ca
JOANNA NEWSOM - glorious, she was wearing this kinda native American hot pants set, and had her drummer, banjo/tambura player (not my friend Kevin though, sadly) and a violinist. It was great, i felt transported back to when i first heard Sawdust and Diamonds in 2004/5, and only Skin gave me actual shivers

SHIRLEY COLLINS: AMERICA OVER THE WATER - the same talk me, Mum and Charlie saw last year, without photos or actor, and shortened, but still brilliant and surprisingly emotional. Her description of the way her relationship with Alan Lomax breaks up is just sums up a whole type of relationship exactly and incisively.
P. G. SIX - full band line-up, which i have heard was not so good, but i thought it was great. Lovely fluid folk rock with pat Gublers lovely voice, lovely. They began and ended with the same song which gives them points too
VOICE OF THE SEVEN WOODS - missed some of the beginning but they seemed to be turning out some heavy jams. They came and went pretty quickly, but where good while they were there
NORTH SEA RADIO ORCHESTRA - My friend Dug sings in this band, along with others, so ihad to see them, and they were brilliant. A mixture of Rachel's style chamber music with a kind of classical British bent. They played settings of W. B. Yeats and William Blake songs, based around guitar with strings, organ, bassoon and oboe. i think, i can never tell which are oboes/cor anglais/others.
SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE - I had to skip the end of this one, but what i saw was awesome. Ben Chasny had a girl with him, playing guitar and singing, she started off with her hair up, quite demure, but then started ripping some awesome noise from her guitar, her hair fell loose and she was rockin out SO HARD. She was awesome. I was looking at her scanning my knowledge of who she might be, and i thought, having never seen the band, and only listened to tiny bits, that she might be the girl from Magik Markers. And my friend Otto who i met later confirmed this! Noise brain psychic
VETIVER - Otto drums with this band, they were great as always, my brother is very into them, and my Mum as well. I could see Joanna on the other side of the stage really into it, it was lovely.
DIANE CLUCK - me and my sister spurned Vashti Bunyan, painful as it was, as we had seen her ebfore, and went to catch Diane Cluck, who i like a lot but have never seen. She was great, a little dark for the mood, but wonderful. I loved Monte Carlo, which i don't know, but someone called out for. Thank you that person!

SHIRLEY COLLINS: I'M A ROMANY RAI - second Shirley talk about Romany music in Britain, lovely again, she is a great speaker, and i almost don't care that she doesn't sing anymore - we got so much more from her as a talker - people sang all over the festival, but these talks really shone. She is a lovely woman.
ARCTIC CIRCLE - a friend of a friends boyfriend's band, but they were great, eclectic indie pop from Bristol, like Architecture In Helsinki with the organs and percussion of Arthur Russell's Instrumentals Vol. 2.
DIRECTING HAND - Alex Neilson and Vinnie i forget her second name, they were good, Alex on drums and Vinnie on vocals, psaltery and harp. It was very much in the vein of a Max Roach/Abbey Lincoln collaboration, with exploratory vocals next to free jazz drums. I enjoyed it a lot, obviously, as it's a woman screaming, and i love that. I got the impression that maybe she was new to experimental singing, as she didn't seem to have a very varied repetoire of sounds. She had a great classical top range and a really nice commanding bray at the lower end, and some impressive ululations, but like i say, i felt like maybe she was finding her way still in this area. But i only say this because i love avant singing and i was so excited to see some, and i really think she could develop into a really powerful singer. Also i totally fancy Alex Neilson, he is so cute, like a little rabbit. And he's got red hair, so, bingo
DAVID THOMAS BROUGHTON - from Leeds, heard of him before. He sang and played guitar, both of which he looped. It was very nice, and he was pleasantly volatile, during one round of loops, getting up and stalking across the stage, drinking water, coming to the front and pouring water down his front as he drank, running offstage into the portacabin, running back out. It was fun, but me and my sister left early to check out Otto's recommendation of
ARBOURETUM - These were great, a kind of moss covered stoner band, but with a really nice lightness of touch. Their heavy jams were just right for me and Vicky at this point, and we had a lot of fun
ALASDAIR ROBERTS - We only caught a bit of Ali as we were getting food, but he sounded on good form, with festival hottie Alex Neilson playing drums. My Mum and Brother were up front for this, and had a good time. My mum described it as 'The Ali Roberts Experience'
MY BRIGHTEST DIAMOND - We caught the last 15 minutes or so of this, it was great, Shara Worden, bassist and drummer. Her voice was great as always, and their enthusiasm made up for the slightly mannered vibe i always get from them
JOHN RENBOURN - this was good, but too busy, i had paella and i couldn't eat it properly, so i left and went to the juice bar with Mum. We could still hear, but i felt like it just wasn't the right time or palce for John Renbourn. I liked him a lot when i've seen him in small venues, but it just didn't do it for me. he played 'Blues Run The Game' though, very nicely.
DEVENDRA BANHART - and the weekend closed with Dev, us right near the front, a beautiful cool breeze blowing across, bubbles everywhere. The set was amazing, danced right through, started to fancy him a bit. He played songs new and old, the new ones were awesome, and the weekend ended in warm jubilation. We got ice creams afterwards and went to dance in the Rumpus Room for about an hour.

I always feel mixed about festivals; i'm never sure if the enjoyment i get from them is worth the misery. Allt he RAIN and MUD and walking around, and back hurting and feet hurting and seeing bands you're indifferent to. But Devendra really lifted me up yesterday and made me really happy. So a good choice!

GreenMan

2007-08-16T22:15:00.000+01:00

Jamie is off to the Green Man Festival, that's me, i am going to try to pick up grotty boys

i will be seeing these;

A labor of Love

2007-08-15T17:34:00.000+01:00

So these are my new wheels, white frame read handles and a blue sadle i shall and do look quite the gent on such a bike exspect to see shooting past you in sheffield soon

People who i could eat (subject to change) No1: Sophie Ellis-Bextor

2007-08-15T16:43:00.000+01:00

Polydor Records

Transformers, robots in the skies

2007-08-13T22:58:00.000+01:00

Hoorays, me and Dan reconvened after about a month of separation, and celebrated by going to see TRANSFORMERS at the godhead Cineworld. Our beloved associate Ryan was supposed to join us, but alas, he could not, so i swallowed the lock of his hair i keep with me and strutted out on my own.

TRANSFORMERS was a mixed bag, a carrier bag full of sick and diamonds. from Spar. It was amazing at first, the opening sequence was wicked, and the animation routinely stunning throughout. Shia LaBeouf (SHIIIIIIIIIIIIA) was intoxicating as the protagonist Sam Witwikky. Everyone in this film was sweaty and dirty throughout and always in intense detail - i swear i could see blackheads at one point. it was the sweatiest film i have seen in a while, and i watch pornography people.

But SHIIIIIIIIIIA was great and funny i thought, and for a while, the transformers were big and quiet and intimidating. There was a strong sense of the uncanny about them, especially when they silent, Bumblebee, who was Sam's car, even talked in radio samples, which was wicked. But then, Optimus Prime and the others come along and start blabbing blabbing blabbing. Then it got kind of excruciating. First of all, there was 'Jazz', a transformer who talked in jive, and then just a bevy of we--eak jokes ("your dog leaked lubricant all over my foot") and sentimental balls. They learnt the english language from the internet, which of course excuses everything in every situation.

And then there was a weird jingo-istic American Hero strand going through it (worse bit - an army man saying "you're a soldier now!" to SHIIIIIIA - winch), and yet more pompous silly dialogue for the machines themselves.

But it was still good fun, and i would recommend it for SHIIIIIIA's sweaty muscular neck alone.

HOT SUMMER HOT SUMMER HOT SUMMER ITS GONA BE A HOT SUMMER HOT SUMMER HOT SUMMER HOT HOT SUMMER ITS GONA BE A .......

2007-08-08T21:25:00.000+01:00

This is a song which was plastered all over MTV2 Germany we got it though the sky while we where in France, It first i thought it to be a sign of what was to be a love filled two weeks but i was wrong its just a song.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY DAN!!

2007-08-07T10:21:00.000+01:00

Dan is now legal, dig in girls!

happy birthday, frenchy!

The Floating Birthday Children - God's Secret City

the search: brendan sexton iii

2007-08-04T21:38:00.000+01:00

what a world, how things have changed

2007-07-29T23:27:00.000+01:00

'The delight of the average hostess's heart is the well-bred man, unspoiled by impure blood, who can always be depended upon to give a stout Aryan girl's calves a good work out. He arrives in a batwing jumper, fills his colostomy bag before very long, and can be asked to dispose of a plain, neglected wallflower who is bumming everyone out. He throws his partner through the window after each dance, if she wishes to go, and provides her with a blossoming fear of men. Before leaving her, he cums in her pocket.'

-Mrs. Humphry Manners for Men (2007)

A Gentleman

A gentleman is defined as: A man, one with a bears arms, and a leather pouch on his throat; A man of chivalrous instinct and creamy textures.

It is still expected that a gentleman stand up the first time
a lady enters and leave immediately.

It is considered chivalrous to open a door for a lady and push her out of it.

Should never remove his coat while standing, sitting, riding, walking, rolling, boxing, talking, dancing, sleeping, kissing, driving, marrying, crack-cooking, arguing, consorting, two stepping, foxtroting, songwriting, cooking, playing or jamming with a lady.

Shall never ask a lady to dance if he has his license removed.

Shall lift his hat and drop his trousers when he brushes against a lady on the street.

Should always walk on their heels when walking with one or more ladies.

Shall not hold a ladies arm, except when swinging her around and around and around!

Shall remove his tongue while talking to a lady.

When a gentleman is seated in a restaurant and a lady acquaintance enters and bows the gentleman should slide under the table while he remains seated, if the lady stops at his table the gentleman shall cry quietly till she departs.

A Lady

Never tolerates or performs smooth jazz from or to another human being.

Always cultivates a hairy bush.

Never chews tobacco in Brussels.

Never fixes her appearance (hair or make-up) in her life.

Remembers; to discuss the price of brake fluid is never in good taste.

Does not donkey punch her suitors before engagement.

Accepts and gives diseases graciously.

Never holds private conversations.

Never uses slang or soap.

Always looks for ways to better herself; surgically, technologically and through the ruthless elimination of any and all competition.

Thinks before she kills, once eviscerated, never edible.

Ladies shall never embrace and kiss when they meet in a sauna.

Has at least one reference manual regarding fat juicy dicks.

Lets take it back

2007-07-29T23:21:00.000+01:00

'The delight of the average hostess's heart is the well-bred man, unspoiled by conceit, who can always be depended upon to do his duty. He arrives in good time, fills his card before very long, and can be asked to dance with a plain, neglected wallflower or two without resenting it. He takes his partner duly to the refreshment-room after each dance, if she wishes to go, and provides her with whatever she wishes. Before leaving her, he sees her safe at her chaperone's side.'

-Mrs. Humphry Manners for Men (1897)

A Gentleman

A gentleman is defined as: A man of gentle birth, one entitled to bear arms, though not noble; A man of chivalrous instinct and fine feelings.

It is still expected that a gentleman stand up the first time
a lady enters a room or takes her final leave.

It is considered chivalrous to open a door for a lady if he happens to be in reasonable proximity.

Should never remove his coat while standing, sitting, riding, or walking with a lady.

Shall never ask a lady to dance if he has his coat removed.

Shall lift his hat and say Excuse Me when he brushes against a lady on the street.

Should always walk on the outside when walking with one or more ladies.

Shall not hold a ladies arm, except when support is needed.

Shall remove his hat while talking to a lady.

When a gentleman is seated in a restaurant and a lady acquaintance enters and bows the gentleman should return the bow while he remains seated, if the lady stops at his table the gentleman shall rise and remain standing till she departs.

A Lady

Never tolerates or performs rudeness, crudeness, indifference or ignorance from or to another human being.

Always cultivates a positive attitude.

Never chews gum in public.

Never fixes her appearance (hair or make-up) in public.

Remembers; to discuss the price of anything is never in good taste.

Does not gossip.

Accepts and gives compliments graciously.

Never holds private conversations in public gatherings.

Never uses slang or bad language.

Always looks for ways to better herself; spiritually, physically and intellectually.

Thinks before she speaks, once said, never forgotten.

Ladies shall never embrace and kiss when they meet in a public place.

Has at least one reference manual regarding etiquette protocol.

- from www.victoriaspast.com

Why on earth does my knuckle smell of dough?

2007-07-25T20:30:00.000+01:00

My hormones have turned inside out in protest and are slowly turning my body into a chipati, knuckles first

Dan France Dan

2007-07-25T10:26:00.000+01:00

Dan is in France, I'm not sure where, but somewhere swilling about in there is he.

I, Jamie, have been staying at my mother's home in Bakewell, watching the rain falling down. I emigrated from our new house in Sheffield, for lovely as it is, i am not very good at entertaining myself without the internet. I had one day where i watched TV, played on the playstation, watched a DVD, danced around in my room, shaved my head, did work on my laptop and baked cookies and i was still stupefyingly bored. The flood waters forbade me from leaving the house for any long period of time.

I did, however, manage to squeeze in two trips to the glorious CINEWORLD, which enlightened my head like a blazing coronet. The first was with Phoebe and her sister Timna, to see Harry Potter, a la tram. TRAMMMMM. i love the tram. £2.70? thank you, yes, lets go! the windswept and wet scenery streaked by us like a streaker who was wet. BUT we got there and lo and behold the place was heeeeving. When me and the Dan have gone before, it had been deserted (that was day time and term time though). It was busy as a motherfucker, and we couldn't get into HP: OotP, but we consoled ourselves by seeing Shrek 3 which wasn't as bad as i thought.

Do you know what it's like to sit in a cinema with two bars of chocolate, cinnamon grahams, fruit bonbons and a tray of Baklava on your knee?

It is wicked, thats what its like, although sickliness and food-shame go hand in hand on this one.

Baklava, yes.

And then on Sunday, Ryan, who i had been bugging to come to cinema with me, finally succomed and gave me a lift in his Shiny red new car (she is called Scarlet) to see Harry Potter with him and his teddy bear Tomas. That's meant to be a funny way of describing Tom, he's not actually just a toy.

So we sat down, though it was busy, we got in, and drank up with our eyes and sopped up with our ears all the sticky jazz that eminated from the screen. Very good, i thought!

But i have abandoned all other pursuits in my dedication towards my new beau, Mike Nelson of tv's Mystery Science Theater 3000. This has become my favourite show, it is funnier than anything i have seen! And Mike's a bit of alright as well, and actually, i don't mind Joel either. Maybe this is the heights/depths of my desperation. oh well cop an eyeful

A Sighting

2007-07-16T16:39:00.000+01:00

on the bus, laden with laptop, bag and Q-chord, in sunglasses which look like this

this was the 240 to Bakewell, from Sheffield, and at Fox Houses, lo and behold, a fox did come out of his house! I had been boy spotting the whole journey, for some reason deciding to be obnoxiously gay and eyeing up every half decent male i could find. But we stopped by Fox Houses and on comes this boy who just looks like sex. I can't think of any other way to describe him - tallish, bad jeans, but nice lip ring, short black hair, really fucking cute, young. But he was totally checking me out, dude, and i was him. He got off at Grindleford, making eye contact thank you very much.

A small victory, i know, but every baby step i take towards actually acheving human contact is worth noting. Here.

But now how do i make something of a situation like that? maybe i don't. fuck it, it was nice....

If you were that boy, return to me

Meeting Places

2007-07-05T17:10:00.000+01:00

July 12th, 22.30

July 7th, 12.30

July 24th, anytime

the search is on the return of the search

2007-07-05T11:42:00.001+01:00

2007-07-05T11:42:00.000+01:00

the search is on

2007-07-05T11:13:00.001+01:00

OK, I know it's late...

2007-06-19T01:35:00.000+01:00

but i found something i had to share with you.

Now, I'm not sure how much anyone wants to know about my personal sex life (a lot i bet), but when browsing this evening i found this image, (censored, of course)

I was awestruck. Who wears a Throbbing Gristle T-shirt to make amateur porn? The man I would MARRY, that's who.

If you are out there, you can come on a mission for my dead soul any day.

Coping Strategies

2007-06-18T15:24:00.000+01:00

Coping Strategies

Coping Strategies Idea One(For the homosexual male): Paint your glans with nail varnish ( red is recommended) on drifting off to sleep. In the morning stare down and imagine that you have a crippling STD that has made you all swollen. You may feel a sinking dread, but it will be accompanied by a vague fruity acknowledgement that you must have done it with someone.

NOTE: this only works for the first couple of seconds of coming around

patent pending

Coping Strategies

2007-06-18T13:02:00.000+01:00

Coping Strategies

Coping Strategies Idea One(For the heterosexual male): Paint your toe nails ( red is recommended) on drifting off to sleep poke your feet out the end of the bed on waking in a morning haze you will be surprised at the female like feet sticking out the end of the bed. This creates the effect of a brief scene of being.

NOTE: this only works for the first couple of seconds of coming around

This is How I Feel

2007-06-17T22:45:00.001+01:00

It's getting a bit self indulgent i know, but these are the consequences of being left alone with broadband at my Mum's house. I am looking after an ill brother and i am freaking bored to shit. i feel like a petrified oak. And since Dan insists on having some sort of 'life', i will have to put in the leg work on the jazz evening front. Prepare for a slow belly slide down the mud chute of my words into the fetid marsh self-pity. By tomorrow i will just be posting pictures of myself crying.

On a plus note (there is no such thing, only minuses) i have downloaded a fuck load of soul music. Brenda Holloway, Barbara & The Browns and Marlena Shaw are big on the iTunes at the moment. Soul, in particular Deep Soul, is really the perfect music for me, as it's the most whiny shit in the world. But transcendentally whiny, obviously. Irma Thomas, as I mentioned in my previous post, is currently my mouth piece. 'Yours Until Tomorrow', an incredible ballad from 1968, is unbelievable, I am sure her voice can literally melt wax and burn through microphones on this track. She genuinely sobs as she howls 'Let me be yours until tomorrow, just let me be yours until tomorrow, give me one night, one night of your life, baby, so i can go on'. I think she pierced the sun, and made me go 'owwww, poor me'.

But the ultimate comes with 'I Wish Someone Would Care', the national anthem of lonely blogging twats. The words say it all:

Sitting home alone
Thinking about my past
Wondering how i made it
And how long it's going to last
Sucess has come to lots of them
And failure's always there
Time, time waits for no one
And i wish, how i wish someone would care

Yeah

Some folks think you're happy
When you wear your smile
What about your tribulations
And all, all of your trials?
Smiles, smiles hide lots of things
The good, the bad, the hurt
All of this goes too
And i wish, i wish, how i wish someone would care

Wish someone would care
Don't you think someone should care?
Don't you think someone should care?
Sit down and think about yourself

boo hoo hoo

A Soundtrack to Ours Lifes

2007-06-16T23:16:00.000+01:00

It's a hard life for a man with no wife and i wish, how i wish someone would care, because i'm sick and weary of being alone. How many years must a girl be lonely before she ever finds her goal? I don't know baby, maybe it's all in my mind, but it's a lone lone lonely town, and i'm crying every day. I just want to happy, sipping, puffing passing, relaxing with my family, all i really want is to be happy. And doesn't it feel good to know that you've been loved?

I'm so busy, so busy thinking about kissing you, and how i want to do that without entertaining another thought.

Let me be yours until tomorrow.

1) 'Hard Life' by Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
2) 'Wish Someone Would Care' by Irma Thomas, Marcia Ball & Tracie Nelson
3) 'Heart Needs A Home' by Richard & Linda Thompson
4) 'How Many Days?' by Syreeta
5) 'All In My Mind' by Maxine Brown
6) 'Lone Lonely Town' by Tammi Terrell
7) 'No More Tears' by Teedra Moses
8) 'Be Happy' by Mary J. Blige
9) 'A Lovestory' by Thomas Dybdahl
10) 'A Little Lost' by Arthur Russell
11) 'Yours Until Tomorrow' by Irma Thomas

The shorts have been found

2007-06-16T23:11:00.000+01:00

£8 from Freshman's bingo

an 'on' shot?

go on then

Summer Wardrobe

2007-06-10T14:30:00.000+01:00

This is what i plan to wear this summer (roughly)

my plan is to lounge around in the Botanical Gardens like I'm on the frigging Chelsea piers or something and try and draw boys to me with my combination of girlish tube-socked calves and hairy thighs poking out of my tennis shorts.

On Finger length

2007-06-10T14:19:00.000+01:00

And by the way, my index finger is longer than my third one, so i must be extra gay, which is pretty true actually.

Is this right?

2007-06-10T14:12:00.001+01:00

Is this what men want to see? I don't even know anymore

Why did i put tattos in there? is that a male stereotype? The only straight men i know like cooking and eyeliner and sound cards and chess and CD decks and shirts. The only gay men i know like Dreamgirls and bears and dressing up

so, shit, man

keep your ho on a leash

bitch is running wild

Given a romantic setting how could this not work?

2007-06-09T21:59:00.000+01:00

Patent Pending

2007-06-09T21:14:00.000+01:00

If it was so simple. I have decided to fashion a set of head dresses following on from Jamie’s earlier suggestions of face masks........
To craft such a thing of beauty you will need to first pick your audience, mine is ladies, women, girls, the female.....and as all heterosexual men know what a lady really loves is flowers lots of then.
The trickery is in planting yourself into the bed of the subject.

Patent Pending

Lynx Julia Raeside Saturday June 9, 2007 The Guardian

2007-06-09T20:53:00.000+01:00

Advertisers used to tell young women that if they smelt nice, young men would give them flowers. But now they're telling chaps that a spray of sickly guff in a tin will have chicks pumping their pelvises at them before they can say, "How do you do? My name is Chris. Would you like a spritzer?"
If "Chris" spent less time in front of the mirror, dousing himself in Lynx Knob, he might know there's very little pulling power to be gained from something which costs £2.50. The latest Lynx campaign depicts a series of women who smell Lynx and immediately dry hump the men wearing it. An excess of Lynx usually causes people to move downstairs on the bus, not rise from their seats and start air-shagging. And each display of primal groin grinding is preceded by the instantly wearing catchphrase, "Bom chicka wah wah", sung to a tune as instantaneously unshakeable as the closing bars of the Grange Hill theme tune. Consider your internal jukebox well and truly violated for the rest of your life.

The most irksome ad sees a supermarket drone going about his business in the perishables aisle when a leggy model with an Afro sniffs his musk and loses all sense of propriety. She puts on the full tail-feather display, jiggling her bumper hither and yon while he stares at her arse like an astonished goat. He doesn't look aroused - just afraid. It's not chewing-gum or jeans or a tin of man perfume that any of us actually use to get each other into bed. It's alcohol. A campaign of adverts for strong cider where people sniff a pint and start rutting on the pub floor would be nearer the truth.

Maby not........

2007-06-09T20:51:00.000+01:00

genetics may have an awnswer

2007-06-09T20:47:00.000+01:00

Are You Seduced Yet?

2007-06-09T14:27:00.000+01:00

Full Throttle

2007-06-09T13:57:00.000+01:00

Seduction masks proposal:

I am beginning to realise duplicity is the key to success in matters both social and romantic. Why not, then, wear seductive masks to seduce the seductable masses?

Johnny Depp, because everyone seems to fancy Johnny Depp, and everyone seems to love fucking pirates

Beyonce, because I don't know who straight men fancy, and i guess maybe they fancy her, maybe, yes, no? I just like her anyway

and if Dan wanted to seduce me

and if i wanted to Seduce Dan

Call Me If You Look Like He...

2007-06-08T15:42:00.000+01:00

2007-06-05T17:00:00.000+01:00

Yeah, and i got a click today... were you the boy on the 80 into town, around 11 this morning, with mid-long greasy hair, odd socks and shorts? You were hot. get 'pon it.

2007-06-05T16:53:00.000+01:00

But.....ties is what they call them up north especially in Manchester and the surrounding area. Sandwiches shops seem to be the drug of choice still for our lack of love and our lack of life. Although life doesn't seem to be a problem. As I type this my fingers are happily dancing from key to key a sure sign of life.

Now the summer seems to be looking down upon Sheffield all glowing and summery. Our usual day now involves walking around the centre of town or going to centertertainment (highly recommended) This would be the first place and the right place to take a girl on the first date the screens are huge size DOES matter girls.

Should I leave it there?

This seems to be a rather odd entry

LYNX

2007-06-05T16:48:00.000+01:00

So we return to Cineworld, once again in the thrall of the screen (IT IS AS TALL AS MY HOUSE AND THREE TIMES AS LONG, THRICE AS LONG YOU MIGHT SAY) ready to watch Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: At Worlds End -

- a side note; we have realised we are repulsive party planners. I know this whole enterprise is somewhat of a wallowing in the puddle of slef-pity, but really! We arranged to go to the cinema a few weeks ago - ended up just me and Dan. We arrange a Big Brother opening night party - ended up just being me and Dan. I invited at least TEN people a week in advance to see Pirates Of The Carib (including my own FAMILY) - ne'ry a soul but me and Dan. In future we are going to conduct our arrangements through our friend Luke to sucker people into attending -

- ready to watch Pirates etc..., watching the Carlton Screen advertising adverts (heat-coals-stars, whhooooooosh! my face branded by Carlton Screen Advertsising) sterling work there, and we see an advert for some kind of voodoo tonic called 'LYNX'. Now, this mysterious substance seems to drive women into such a frenzy of lustfulness that they will literally rape and kill men. We became very excited about this, me on Dan's behalf and Dan on Dan's behalf, as it seems to render the female senses completely focused on viscious, bruising copulation with ugly men. However, Dan has now drunk three bottles of the stuff and their has been no effect, apart from vomit with some red bits in.

were you that/this girl

2007-05-28T19:25:00.000+01:00

Two clicks were credited on that day, and both in aid of this girl. I was nearly prompted to wander over to have a chat but as always being my crippling English self I bit my lip and admired the art.

Frisson

2007-05-24T11:14:00.000+01:00

As I gazed across the plaza, something occured to me.

Under the hanging ferns, looking up at the blue night sky.

I wondered if i would ever see him again.

My feet moved slowly, i couldn't seem to force them to do anything.

In the ice and snow, i saw him raise his head, but in a second it was gone.

In the water silver coins glittered.

Do i really have so much in you?

Illustrated Mirror Sex Voodoo

2007-05-21T14:22:00.000+01:00

Jamie I remembered

2007-05-21T09:31:00.000+01:00

On the trip to London me and Jamie (a boy who comes highly recommended)sat on the train. I have been reading a book all about the history of mirrors and found another possible solution for myself and Jamie's man and woman problems. During the history of the mirror, one of its uses was to woo and capture the gaze of the opposite sex. Taking a small hand mirror they would write the name of the person of whom the person in question lust after, do this three times on the back of the same mirror. Take that mirror and point it at two copulation dogs. Once the mirror is fully copulated you then give the mirror to the one you love (lust/love its all the same) and the subliminal reflection in the mirror prompt them into lude acts hopeful involving oneself (patent pending)

Living for the weekend...

2007-05-20T13:58:00.000+01:00

What a weekend. My throat hurts. We went to London on Friday to do gallery-hopping with our lovely tutor. Dan got some clicks, i did not. Not even in the Indian restaurant we supped at in the evening, and you know how much i like Indian boys. So what do i do? I roll around in my own filth and make more cookies. In that order. I read and finish The Lover by Marguerite Duras. now i have gookies and a sore throat, take that.

2007-05-17T17:02:00.000+01:00

Nice Cheese on toast and Green Salad

2007-05-17T12:34:00.000+01:00

You can make a nice nice cheese on toast and green salad if YOU JUST DO WHAT I SAY.

for the cheese on toast:

nice bread
nice cheese (i like wensleydale)
nice chutney (redcurrentand balsamic was freakin wickked)
heat

slice the cheese on put it on the bread, which should also be sliced. then put it under a grill until it looks nice. serve with chutney on the side

for the green salad:

fresh spinach
cucumber
lemon juice
pine nuts

combine the ingredients, with the cucmber sliced. Bob's your uncle!

put it with the cheese on toats and then eat it!

this recipe is another tie-in to our seductive sandwich board invention (patent pending). it's not really a sandwich but its got bread in it. Any similarities to any other recipes or anything anyone else has ever made or done or thought of is impossible

2007-05-17T12:32:00.001+01:00

GoodVeggie burgers

2007-05-17T12:22:00.000+01:00

i made good veggie burgers last night, you can too!!

you get

red kidney beans (about a bowlful)
7/8 chopped button mushrooms
a bit of breadcrumbs (one and a half mini-ciabattas for me)
dill
rosemary
salt and pepper
one chopped up garlic clove

and you squashy chop them up in a bowl (make sure the beans are sufficiently tender before hand) then crack

1 egg

and mix it all up with a wooden spoon until you can pat the mixture into patties!! then do that (i got 2), and fry them just for a little while on both sides in a touch of olive oil.

then eat them in nice bread with nice leaves (spinach, cress and rocket i had) is is wickked

you might want to think about adding fresh red onion and maybe a nice chutney, i didn't have those last night though

enjoy!

this recipe is a veggie burger sandwich to tie in with our seductive sandwich boards (patent pending). any similarity to persons living or dead or other sandwiches or boards or anything is purely coincidental so shut it

2007-05-17T12:11:00.000+01:00

2007-05-17T12:05:00.000+01:00

September 30th, 1898

Our experiments with the sandwich boards continue. We have fashioned a more resilient hemp based twine with which to join the front and back panels, onto which we have placed specially formulated cushions to ease the load on our shoulders. The long days of wandering around Canterbury or Grenocide with nothing but erotic latex costumes between our skin and the harsh cords has done nothing for out pallor. We persevere though, and find new ways to approve open our invention (patent pending!). We have also experimented with a new typeface, a local speciality called 'Times New Roman'. 'Tis most exotic, and should hopefully draw the eyes of young ladies and gentlemen in a most gratifying fashion! We were chased away from outside Eton, they don't like our sort there. Pity, as their rugby team had asses like you've never seen!
Oh well, dear friend, on we go. I must sign off now, Dan has fallen over and the board is trapping his ankle, he is wailing!
Kind thoughts, as always

J.

The sandwich board in action...

2007-05-17T12:01:00.000+01:00

this was i good one, i had 12 sexes that day

PATENT PENDING!!!

2007-05-17T11:46:00.000+01:00

And again...

2007-05-17T11:44:00.002+01:00

2007-05-17T11:44:00.001+01:00

2007-05-17T11:43:00.001+01:00

2007-05-17T11:41:00.001+01:00

2007-05-17T11:40:00.000+01:00

2007-05-17T11:38:00.000+01:00

2007-05-17T11:37:00.001+01:00

2007-05-17T11:36:00.001+01:00

2007-05-17T11:34:00.001+01:00