Blue Milk

48 hours of unparalelled nervous excitement meets 30 minutes of actual contact

Yes, i nearly had a kiss (but not).

There is a certain someone, who lives in a certain foreign country, who i befriended around Christmas. Me and this certain someone, we shall call him J, had a little je n'ais ce quoi between us when we hung out, then he left, but emailed me telling me he had wanted to kiss me but was too shy. As was the case for me. So i kicked myself, and even just this week, was discussing with my friends how he had been my only potential mate in two years and i had missed the boat (because my conversations are basically verbal renderings of this blog with less attempts at humour).

Then i get an email revealing that he is here, in Sheffield, for the weekend. I nearly shat myself, because i didn't really think I'd ever see him again. So i become a jumpy, jittery mess of nerves and excitement, because, you know, it's HIM, the guy i should of just kissed when i had the chance. And let me tell you he is FINE. So i anticipate us meeting, going for a drink, maybe to Bungalows & Bears, a booth in the back, i will introduce him to Sailor Jerry's and Coke, and we will kiss, because we both wanted to right? And now he is back. And then maybe we will go back to my house, and you know, boink. The prospect of this, and just the prospect of seeing him again, makes me a mess, but i go to meet him on Saturday, heart a flutter.

He turned up a little late, shorter than i remembered, and we walk up along the Moor where he wants to buy things. And then it becomes clear that it will be a brief visit, as his friend he is staying with has arranged activities for the day. He was very apologetic and everything, saying he wished we could hang out longer. But our huge reunion became walking from The Showroom, along the Moor, visiting 3 shops, walking up Cemetary Rd. and saying goodbye! The whole thing lasted half an hour. I had brought condoms, my house key, and warned my mum i might be staying over in Sheffield!

As we said goodbye, i got a long hug, he held my arm and blew me a kiss as he went. But that was as close to a romantic liason as we got.

I wasn't upset or annoyed with him, not even really disappointed. It was just strange to go from 2 days of extreme romantic excitement right back to normal, which is complete lack of prospects, and making jokes about things shrivelling up through lack of use, har de fucking har. I felt a little foolish for building it up so much as well. But you know, he said he wanted to kiss me, i said i wanted to kiss him, is it too much to think we might kiss?

Oh well, what can you do?

Get back on your fucking blog and write about it.