were you that/this girl

Two clicks were credited on that day, and both in aid of this girl. I was nearly prompted to wander over to have a chat but as always being my crippling English self I bit my lip and admired the art.

Frisson

As I gazed across the plaza, something occured to me.

Under the hanging ferns, looking up at the blue night sky.

I wondered if i would ever see him again.

My feet moved slowly, i couldn't seem to force them to do anything.

In the ice and snow, i saw him raise his head, but in a second it was gone.

In the water silver coins glittered.

Do i really have so much in you?

Illustrated Mirror Sex Voodoo

Jamie I remembered

On the trip to London me and Jamie (a boy who comes highly recommended)sat on the train. I have been reading a book all about the history of mirrors and found another possible solution for myself and Jamie's man and woman problems. During the history of the mirror, one of its uses was to woo and capture the gaze of the opposite sex. Taking a small hand mirror they would write the name of the person of whom the person in question lust after, do this three times on the back of the same mirror. Take that mirror and point it at two copulation dogs. Once the mirror is fully copulated you then give the mirror to the one you love (lust/love its all the same) and the subliminal reflection in the mirror prompt them into lude acts hopeful involving oneself (patent pending)

Living for the weekend...

What a weekend. My throat hurts. We went to London on Friday to do gallery-hopping with our lovely tutor. Dan got some clicks, i did not. Not even in the Indian restaurant we supped at in the evening, and you know how much i like Indian boys. So what do i do? I roll around in my own filth and make more cookies. In that order. I read and finish The Lover by Marguerite Duras. now i have gookies and a sore throat, take that.

Nice Cheese on toast and Green Salad

You can make a nice nice cheese on toast and green salad if YOU JUST DO WHAT I SAY.

for the cheese on toast:

nice bread
nice cheese (i like wensleydale)
nice chutney (redcurrentand balsamic was freakin wickked)
heat

slice the cheese on put it on the bread, which should also be sliced. then put it under a grill until it looks nice. serve with chutney on the side

for the green salad:

fresh spinach
cucumber
lemon juice
pine nuts

combine the ingredients, with the cucmber sliced. Bob's your uncle!

put it with the cheese on toats and then eat it!

this recipe is another tie-in to our seductive sandwich board invention (patent pending). it's not really a sandwich but its got bread in it. Any similarities to any other recipes or anything anyone else has ever made or done or thought of is impossible

GoodVeggie burgers

i made good veggie burgers last night, you can too!!

you get

red kidney beans (about a bowlful)
7/8 chopped button mushrooms
a bit of breadcrumbs (one and a half mini-ciabattas for me)
dill
rosemary
salt and pepper
one chopped up garlic clove

and you squashy chop them up in a bowl (make sure the beans are sufficiently tender before hand) then crack

1 egg

and mix it all up with a wooden spoon until you can pat the mixture into patties!! then do that (i got 2), and fry them just for a little while on both sides in a touch of olive oil.

then eat them in nice bread with nice leaves (spinach, cress and rocket i had) is is wickked

you might want to think about adding fresh red onion and maybe a nice chutney, i didn't have those last night though

enjoy!

this recipe is a veggie burger sandwich to tie in with our seductive sandwich boards (patent pending). any similarity to persons living or dead or other sandwiches or boards or anything is purely coincidental so shut it

September 30th, 1898

Our experiments with the sandwich boards continue. We have fashioned a more resilient hemp based twine with which to join the front and back panels, onto which we have placed specially formulated cushions to ease the load on our shoulders. The long days of wandering around Canterbury or Grenocide with nothing but erotic latex costumes between our skin and the harsh cords has done nothing for out pallor. We persevere though, and find new ways to approve open our invention (patent pending!). We have also experimented with a new typeface, a local speciality called 'Times New Roman'. 'Tis most exotic, and should hopefully draw the eyes of young ladies and gentlemen in a most gratifying fashion! We were chased away from outside Eton, they don't like our sort there. Pity, as their rugby team had asses like you've never seen!
Oh well, dear friend, on we go. I must sign off now, Dan has fallen over and the board is trapping his ankle, he is wailing!
Kind thoughts, as always

J.

The sandwich board in action...

this was i good one, i had 12 sexes that day

PATENT PENDING!!!

And again...

Continuing seductive sandwich boards

Jamie steps into the breach

Last post

Possible idea for love?

fill billboard with quirk yet cultured quotes/ chat up lines

Just stop messing around and do us

HEY EBLYBODY I MADE COOKIES!!!!! DIG IN!!!!

oh no, you can't, you are not here. They are lovely though, i am impressed with myself. They have hazelnuts and white, milk and dark chocolate chips, wicked. I thinking i may be trying to fill the sucking void in my chest with cooking, but IT TASTES SO GOOD! the recipe came from Amy Sedaris' 'I Like You: Entertaining Under The Influence'. it is:

3/4 cup of sugar
3/4 cup of brown sugar
240g of unsalted butter
2 eggs
2 tspn vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups of bread flour
1 tspn of baking powder
1 1/2 tspn of salt
500g choclate chips
80g hazelnuts

beat the sugars and melted butter together.
add the eggs and vanilla extract
gradually add the flour, salt and baking powder
stir in choc and nuts
chiiiiiiiiiiiiiil.
form into little balls and flatten out on a greased baking tray
cook at 190 centigrade for 9-11 minutes, or until nicely crispy if you like that (i like that)

eeeeeennnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjooooooooooy!

Shame

Just so you know, the Phoebe provided both me and Dan with clicker things from Poundland to count the number of attractive people we see. I have 9 and how many do you have Dan? Dan got 86. Maybe this is a key problem on my behalf.

Seemingly spending our days typing, correlating, articulating, and any other ing…… we ended up at Johannes [at the top of Ecclesall rd] again to eat away. Post sandwich we ( I and Jamie) sat in the canteen of Psalter Lane waiting. Poking and peering at the possibles walking in and out of our gaze but this seems to simmer out after one poke by Jamie and a dismissal by me

This is what my soul feels like

And this is where it leads

for this object

Lone Lonely Town

So - we went to see an artists screening last night. I won't name names, but suffice to say it was BALLS. So afterwards we trundled our way along to Bungalows And Bears (or vise versa, i can never remember) and sunk ito the pillowy embrace of suede sofas and complaining. Our friend Phoebe, who has become a figure somewhat reminiscent of a zoo keeper, except instead of capturing and containing animals, she captures and contains boys, lots of boys, was boasting outrageously and heartlessly of her conquests, lording over us like some grand dame. Imagine a randy Margo Channing and your not far off. So as she poured crucible after crucible of scorching carnal bile over us, we, me and Dan, in our shrivelled, unloved husks of bodies col do nothing to defend ourselves.

I should point out at this stage, I may be exagerrating.

Phoebe is actually very nice. But the fact remains.

But the fact remains

It's raining, it's pouring, my love life is boring me to tears

So sayeth Donna Summer (& Barbara Streisand, given half a chance), and so sayeth me and Daniel. We are two kids in Sheffield, just be-moaning the lack of romatic interest in our lives. Which makes no sense, as we are fucking hotties. We're like the Sugababes, we got all flavours for all tastes. You got tall, willowy Dan, son of elfin mother and satyr father, who will charm your pants off like right down your legs and round your ankles and me, a kind of squat dwarf-like figure with rotten teeth and a limp. Dan likes the ladies and i like the fellas, so really, no one has any reason for not getting all up in our business. The only reason i could think of would be sheer bloody minded arrogance. But while hobbling along from the sandwich shop [Johannes at the top of Ecclesall rd., mwah!!] and rending our garments in mourning for our fallen genitals, singing songs [Enough is Enough, Wish Someone Would Care, All By Myself] we realised, that in fact, we were basically the most attractive people in the world. I'm blogging, cheeky. Dan was wikipediing. So if you know whats good for you, take your pick ladies and gents and get down with the wickedness.

A Little Bit Of Jazz In The Evening

is all we want really. But it's not forthcoming.