September 30th, 1898

Our experiments with the sandwich boards continue. We have fashioned a more resilient hemp based twine with which to join the front and back panels, onto which we have placed specially formulated cushions to ease the load on our shoulders. The long days of wandering around Canterbury or Grenocide with nothing but erotic latex costumes between our skin and the harsh cords has done nothing for out pallor. We persevere though, and find new ways to approve open our invention (patent pending!). We have also experimented with a new typeface, a local speciality called 'Times New Roman'. 'Tis most exotic, and should hopefully draw the eyes of young ladies and gentlemen in a most gratifying fashion! We were chased away from outside Eton, they don't like our sort there. Pity, as their rugby team had asses like you've never seen!
Oh well, dear friend, on we go. I must sign off now, Dan has fallen over and the board is trapping his ankle, he is wailing!
Kind thoughts, as always

J.