Transformers, robots in the skies

Hoorays, me and Dan reconvened after about a month of separation, and celebrated by going to see TRANSFORMERS at the godhead Cineworld. Our beloved associate Ryan was supposed to join us, but alas, he could not, so i swallowed the lock of his hair i keep with me and strutted out on my own.

TRANSFORMERS was a mixed bag, a carrier bag full of sick and diamonds. from Spar. It was amazing at first, the opening sequence was wicked, and the animation routinely stunning throughout. Shia LaBeouf (SHIIIIIIIIIIIIA) was intoxicating as the protagonist Sam Witwikky. Everyone in this film was sweaty and dirty throughout and always in intense detail - i swear i could see blackheads at one point. it was the sweatiest film i have seen in a while, and i watch pornography people.

But SHIIIIIIIIIIA was great and funny i thought, and for a while, the transformers were big and quiet and intimidating. There was a strong sense of the uncanny about them, especially when they silent, Bumblebee, who was Sam's car, even talked in radio samples, which was wicked. But then, Optimus Prime and the others come along and start blabbing blabbing blabbing. Then it got kind of excruciating. First of all, there was 'Jazz', a transformer who talked in jive, and then just a bevy of we--eak jokes ("your dog leaked lubricant all over my foot") and sentimental balls. They learnt the english language from the internet, which of course excuses everything in every situation.

And then there was a weird jingo-istic American Hero strand going through it (worse bit - an army man saying "you're a soldier now!" to SHIIIIIIA - winch), and yet more pompous silly dialogue for the machines themselves.

But it was still good fun, and i would recommend it for SHIIIIIIA's sweaty muscular neck alone.